the latest

Me, Steve and Mark VB went a wandering up a few large hills! It was burning hot and still there was enough snow for a snowball fight!

My Fojamma, Uli my little german sausage, me and Jen my prettiest and best singer in the whole world!

so...

It looks like i WILL be staying on for another year or two. Will be spending time learning how to drive, gettingmy kayacking and canoe stars and my ML.

Thoughts

Im having another one of my turns at the moment. Things in my life are busy and at times too tireing for me.

Ive been doing lots of cayacking with Steve and now i can roll over without a paddle! GO ME! He has a canoe polo comp in a few days so we were in the pool most days with Ed joining us on occasion. Its been a good laugha nd ive really enjoyed the exercise and fun. I dont liek it when too many people come in tho and i will sneak out if that happens but it makes me feel defeated because i shouldnt leave for something silly like a few extra people joining in.

I also went to see Switchfoot last night in Perth! The gig was amazing! Verra Cruise were more my scene and wished the had longer than just half an hour as they were awesome!!

Ive been wondering what my purpose is in being here and if i really should stay for another year. I dont see the point in staying 'just because' but i only want to stay if there is a real purpose for me here and at the moment i cant find it.

Being here makes me realise all the things i missed out on because of my upbringing. Sometimes i have found myself wishing i had just been brought up in a 'normal' loving family who encouraged me rather than destroyed me. Maybe then i would have had the confidence to og to Uni or to look for a career and not freak out at silly things like doing group activities. We had house fellowship on Wednesday and im in a different group now. I like my group but it was all about being rejected and families and i felt very out of place and just sat in silence the whole nght. Nathan said (innocently) that sometiems he wishes he had a more dramatic testimoney (after watching nobody's child) I sat there thinking that he could have mine because i would swap ina second just to have a day of being 'normal' and not analyzing every thought or feeling that comes my way.

The Lecht

I went to the Lecht snowboarding today and almost froze! I sit here after having been in a boiling hot bath (which i made tepid quickly because of my body temp) with an icicle still hanging from my nose! I need my own boots tho! Centre ones aint up to much but definately better than nothing! Its completely different from boarding in Les Gets but worth doing.

Thanks so Stevie boy for providing me with sallopets! Now i have to go shopping!

Time out's new programme is running well and the kids have a great time and even better.....they hear the word of God.

Been feeling a bit chunkey so decided to stop eating sweets and exercise more! Well thats the plan but whether it happens is a different thing! You guys keep nudging me on to eat better and exercise as it seems really easy to just live off junk here.

What else do i have to tell you guys....

OOOOH! AND.....IM GOING TO HOLLAND!!!! Im going to visit my little Dutch princess around Easter time!

Christmas Celerbations

I had an excellent time with my foster mum on Christmas day. We chilled, watched great movies, had a great natter and are rubbish!
I made the mistake of spending time with my real family on boxing day tho. My niece Ashley called and wanted me to see all her new things so i went down. Mum managed to rip my heart out and destroy me within the first half hour of being there. I dont understand why she doesnt love me. I dont understand why she gleefully makes sure i know that i am seperate from the family. Lorraine didnt help by talking about how great it is to have the whole family there and having a great christmas. I wasnt invited to spend christmas with my family but im used to that. Still hurts when they constantly go on about how great it was for them without me and blatantly make plans for the boxing day meal cutting me out of it all. My little brother is awesome tho. It was worth the hurt to see him and my three nieces.
Thankfully i didnt have to be there overnight. Ive been staying with a family who love me like their own.
Tho my family cause me a great lonliness, God reminds me that he is with me and will never leave me, even unto the end of time. His love is what brings me through. He gives me people who choose to have me in their life and love me for who i am. He is a very good God.

My Fo! She was a fairy for the drama but generally...this is how she always is! She is a very genuine person and a great laugh. Im glad she is in Abernethy.

Unite was good fun to be a part of. I enjoyed the weeks leading up as i met some excellent people that i would never have known otherwise. God is so very kind.

I'm in a very thoughtful mood today. Thinking about what God might want from me in the new year. He has given me so much and changed me to the point where im sometimes in shock if i think about it too much. But in some respects im exactly the same as i always have been. Its been a time to find myself and its been a good time.
Im going to visit the family today and stayin gover. that wont be easy but im still very excited about spending some time with Ashley, Katie and Cara. They are the greatest gifts from God.

Theses are a few pics from the Spies like us night on Saturday. It was absolutely hilarious and if you want to see more then feel free to go peek in my bebo account.

Yes im back in Falkirk and straight back serving God in my home church as soon as i got back. It made me still feel a part of it all as sometimes being away is hard. I miss home but not enought to want to come back yet. My time in Abernethy has been awesome with both highs and lows but growth through it all. Im looking forward to what the new year as to offer. Im planning on practising my rolling as i want to get my stars in kayacking. My ain with God is to focus on developing my walk with Him (tho this is something we shoudl all be doing all the time annyway) btu i want to focus on understanding my self image and change it to be gods image i see. I want to understand my purpose in this life and where God wants me to be and what His thoughts are regarding me.

This is my new niece who was born three months premature. She is doing great and has the chubbiest little cheeks i have ever saw! She is still incredibly light.

This is Katie my other little niece. She is hilarious! Very cuddly and jumpy and yappy and hungry! haha! I love her!

This is me and Fo! My Fo! Not anyone elses Fo! Just mine! She officially has the most snuggliest blanket in the whole world!

Extravagant Worship

Stuart also spoke on Extravagant worship. I didnt learn anything new but was very encouraged to hear about this woman and how she expressed her love for Jesus. To sit and soak up His presence was awesome and i was very blessed to be a part of it. The closeness of His presence was awesome. I love it when He is so tangible! The thing that amazes me is that He chooses to be that close to us and only yearns to be even closer and more often. Its us that get caught up in todays troubles and take our eyes of the King of Kings.
Intimacy with Jesus is the most beautiful thing i have ever experienced and i want more and more every time we meet. If you havent had that closeness in a while then i encourage you to seek it today.

Words of Authority

This teaching on words of authority hit home to me. This happens in our daily lives. The words people speak to us can either kill or cure us. Words cause more damage than any beating ever could. This is from personal experience. The words spoken into my life have caused me more upset than any of the abuse that has been in my life. But the word of God has amazing power. The more i read His word and the more i listen to His voice, the more special i feel and empowered i come. Christs words have a stronger hold than past words from people. Sometimes when i feel vulnerable the past comments can come back but im working on stopping that with His strength. Im thankful for people like my foster mum who is always honest with em and always makes me feel loved no matter how long its been since ive spent quality time with her. Just being around her for a few moments reminds me that i have the greatest mum i could have hoped for in her. I wasnt born into her family but she loves me enough to include me always in her family.

Conference

The conference was an absolute blast and indeed a time when God moved personally in my life. I faced the challenge of getting to know new people each day and even amazed myself at how much i enjoyed talking to people from different centres. Gartmore house on first viewing reminded me of the hotel from the film 'The Shining'. Kinda creepy! But inside it is magnificent! Full of the peace of God and the people who work there are practically invisible!

Teaching - The services with Stuart Blythe were interesting. I was drawn into the one about words of authoruty. He explained that people who knew YOU and who knew your name had authority over you (back in the days of Jesus) they had some kind of power so to know someones name was giving them knowledge. Thats why the evil spirit in mark 1:21-27 called out His name saying 'I know who you are- the Holy One sent from God'. This evil spirit wasnt shouting out His name in acknowledgement and praise but to gain power over Jesus by his own knowledge. Jesus shows His authority comes higest when he tells the evil spirit to 'be silent' and the evil spirit comes out with a shriek....but not one word is uttered from this spirit again! The words from God hold more authorty than any other. This piece of scripture had never fully made sense to me. I always wondered why Jesus made him silent. I thought He just didnt want the evil spirit telling everyone His name but that wasnt the case. Jesus didnt want the evil spirit to think he had any kinda power over the living God. Jesus turned the usual ways of life on its head. This evil spirit thought he had power and Jesus proved Him wrong. This goes on all the way through His life. Even to the cross. The enemy thought he had won when Jesus died on the cross but Jesus turned it all on its head. He showed the enemy that He has power even over death. Jesus is amazing!